Tuesday, March 20, 2012

This one is reality mixed with joy

     I want to be a testimony to the greatness of my God. I want to be known as a woman who is in love with Jesus, but not to appear as a Jesus freak; never really thought it accomplished much to cram Jesus down peoples throats, or to be so heavenly minded that I miss the reality of everyday life. I just want to be a real human being, with needs and desires like everyone else, but in the midst of that understands my need for a Savior.
     Does anyone wonder where I am going with this? On a blog, which was created for bringing home our third kiddo? I will let you know...
     We brought Maggie home 6 days ago. She has done AMAZINGLY well with the adjustment. She is a JOY for sure! And yet, in the midst of the joy, I find myself with selfish thoughts. I am quickly remembering what it is to have a two year old. How that little one wants constant attention. She doesn't care that I haven't folded the laundry done yesterday, or that I need to empty the dishwasher, or need to look at our budget, or just pick up around the house so my mind doesn't go insane, or that I still have winter decor around that needs replacing.
     My mind is so full of me, even in the midst of a new child! Never fear though, I have given the honest thoughts to Jesus. Asked Him to touch me, breathe over me, speak over me; whatever He chooses. I need it.
     So, Jesus reminded me how much in love with me He is. Within 5 minutes of journaling those thoughts above, a good friend from Indiana called me. She has two adopted children so she understands our journey. She told me my thoughts are completely normal. I have to adjust too, just like with any newborn! Imagine that! She said that Maggie is biologically 2, but within our family she is a 2 week old. What does a 2 week old do/need? To be held, comforted...a lot!
     Jesus used that for my heart and mind. I am so very thankful.
     Then I listed to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-ZtKzw-ipo&feature=related
     Such a great reminder to my soul...the greatness of our God. So beyond me. I like that. I need that.
   

2 comments:

  1. I am so glad that I could be used today... I even thought, "they are so busy...I shouldn't bother...". I am so glad that I listened to His spirit and did anyway. :-) Love ya!!!!!

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  2. Honestly, this isn't a thought I've ever considered about adoption, about how the receiving family has to make adjustments. Its so simple, yet it never even dawned on me!!! I love the way you share Jesus through this!! Thanks for being HONEST and TRANSPARENT!!!

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