One of those days

     This one might be long. I have a lot on my mind about my kids...    
     I love my children. What I do not love is summer break. There are some fun moments, but to be honest, the LONG days around the house are tiring to my mind.
     We have a whole lot of arguing amongst the two oldest in our home, and a WHOLE lot of 2 year old fits. We handle the fits so differently than when Natalie was two. Now I get a kick out of what the fits are over. Today alone Maggie has thrown a fit over...

• Not being able to put on the undergarment that I was putting on : )
• Not being able to ride an adult bike
• Not being able to play with the remote and change the channel while I was doing a work-out video
• Not having three bowls of grits for breakfast. 

     Whew! No wonder she has been taking three hour naps! : )

     Natalie, our oldest, has a heart of compassion. If one of us is hurt she jumps into action. She is outside washing our truck as I write; she didn't even want help. I was so impressed that I offered her $4. 

     The last couple of days she has made some really great decisions in how to handle things in her world. And she is listening to advice. The whole listening thing has been a real struggle for her in her 9 years of life. It has been a source of frustration for Matt and I, and yet I so see myself in her. That part in her that feels stupid having to be corrected. That part that doesn't want to have to learn one more thing. We pray that she will become teachable. That she would see that, as Scripture says, it is good to learn; the wise add to their learning.

     Jaydn, our second, has a very giving heart which is such a great quality! But Jaydn is an absolute pro at persistence. Not endurance, persistence. Such as: continuing to ask for something even though we said no. Telling me over and over why he doesn't like what we are having for supper; asking every two minutes if Natalie's turn on computer is done and his is up - even though the timer says she still has 10 minutes. 

     Maggie, the one for which you started reading this blog in the first place, is a smiley, playful, music-loving, fit-throwing joy. She is coming into her "own". I cannot overlook the sheer JOY that she has in the morning. As if she remembers the walls she used to wake up to. 

     I feel like Maggie has always been here. But this week we have seen where she is not completely adjusted to her surroundings. She really struggles when I leave the house. Even if it's with daddy, who she loves. I am her security and God is molding me to be ok with being needed so much. I have been quoting 1 Peter 3:4 "...instead [your beauty] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."  It's the words gentle and quiet that get me. I've been allowing Jesus to help me meditate on those words and what they look like in my life. Hopefully those characteristics are seen in my parenting. 

     We are becoming "settled" as a family of five and yet we see another in our future. We believe God has called us to adopt another. A little boy with black skin. When we pray for him, we pray for Nolan. Right now we are praying for God's timing and God's direction as to where Nolan is. Haiti? That would be great as Matt's heart is so much there. Domestic? We don't know. But we would covet prayers on the journey.

     Gentle and quiet in spirit. This adoption journey, and the 2nd one to which we believe we have been called, have opened up a new pathway to learning about my God. In times of frustration I can be quiet, knowing that because GOD knows, I will not be overwhelmed. In times of weariness with being a mom, I can still be gentle, b/c it is GOD who works in me; stopping those harsh thoughts from coming out of my mouth. 

     Well, I don't know how many people still read this blog and if they do, how many made it to the end of this book. But, I sure do feel better! haha