The longer I know Christ, the more grateful I am that He alone can give me contentment. I need it in so many areas of my being...really. Let me talk about my reality, because that is where God meets me.
I struggle with wants of all kinds...
I want to be able to take our kids all kinds of cool places over summer break but don't have the funds. Now, let me clarify. We are not poor, but we don't have a ton of money just laying around either. With seminary bills and medical bills, we have to decide the best use of the "fun" money. Sometimes I wonder if I would struggle so much if so many around us didn't have a lot of money. Hmmm... God meets me in this struggle on a daily basis and every time I take it to Him, He wins. My outlook changes. I find joy in spending time with my kids at the pool or just hanging at a friends house. Just the other day some very generous families gave our family Carowinds passes. We have already went enough to make the money worth it. It has been great family time! We consider it another provision from God! A blessing God didn't have to give us, but He did!
I want many THINGS. Curtains all around my house, a minivan, a pergola in the backyard, new mulch, a new bathing suit, new pots and pans. However, none of those things would make my life any more wonderful; they would just be filling a want. Jesus says that "life doesn't consist in the abundance of our possessions". (Luke 12:14)
I want to be able to make budget on groceries. Seriously. I so struggle with this one; always going over! How does God help with this one? Contentment comes in all shapes and sizes my friends! Sometimes it is by giving me the discipline to put things back on the shelf that aren't needed yet. Sometimes it is by providing the meals for us - the other night we went to a church get together and came home with enough leftovers for two meals!
The last one I will share is that I want to be able to eat what I want and still lose weight. Maybe the word should be DISCIPLINE. Within myself, I have none. NONE. I do not like to work out and I do not like to say no to food. And all that would be fine if I was still 20; but I am one year from 40. My body doesn't work like it used to. Let me be clear - chocolate will always be my friend. My daily friend. But aside from that, I have come to realize that I need to gain some discipline in my diet and exercise. And it might sound funny, but for me, this is a spiritual thing. Without the spirit of Jesus within me, nothing will change. And I love that God has been with me in the struggle; in my reality. He is changing my outlook. He is giving me perseverance and endurance to change some things I really don't want to change, but need to.
On a home front...
Maggie is doing wonderful! She is such a happy kid! We can't imagine our family without her! She had her first speech and third occupational therapy session last week. She loves it!
We continue to pray for Nolan. Matt and I can't figure out where the finances are going to come from, with bringing a fourth into our family, but on the flip-side, we have a peace about it; we know God will provide. Crazy how that works.
