Just a sweet day

     I went away on a Women's Retreat with my church this past weekend. It was wonderful! It was also nice to come home though; I do love our home.
     Maggie remained with me the rest of the day after I returned home. Often holding my finger, or just playing close. So sweet.
     She is deciding to walk by herself more and more each day. Today she even played on her tricycle, which was a first! Normally, if outside, she just wants to walk with me or Matt.
     She is repeating things all the time now. If Matt or I call for one of the "big kids" she is our echo. She ends our prayers with "A-Men!", and can say a verse, "God made ME!".
     She is a true blessing, as our Natalie and Jaydn. We are beyond blessed.

Ride/Walking her bike. She knew she was big stuff.

She was talking the whole time.

Little bit of walking with mom.

Getting better all the time

     Just a quick update on Maggie. She went to the nursery this past Sunday and did fine! And these first two days of school this week have been MUCH better!
     Around the house she is becoming more comfortable by the day; doing LOTS of wandering! Love it!!!
     Thank you for all the kind words and prayers, making sure I, mentally, made it through last week! God moved in my heart and mind for sure!

First corn on the cob

She loves some yogurt ("yo-urg" as Maggie says)

On our way to school.

Whew! We are tired!

Within 5 minutes of leaving school/work, this is my sweet view.

     As far as journeys go, today has been an upward climb. This day started with tears for me, just not looking forward to going to work with Maggie. Sounds awful, but just speaking reality. 

     I told the Lord on the way to work what I envisioned is different than what our experience has been. 

     Maggie lived within 3 rooms the first two years of her life. She wasn't taken outside because they didn't have enough help to take 7-10 one-year-olds out. So, in my bubble world, I thought that when she saw everything that we have for her, everything offered to her at Playschool (where I work), she would want to jump right in. And that is not what is happening. She is choosing to be loved on, rather than to play; being held over toys. Imagine that. Our most basic need. To be loved. 

     For Maggie, she was cared for, but not much with physical touch. So, we are filling that cup up for her. But to be honest, it takes a toll on me. I LOVE our Maggie Mei. Love, love, love her. But as far as attachment goes, it is me she adores and wants the most attention from. 

     I keep asking the Lord, 'why is it that some days I feel too tired to be needed so much?' Simple answer? Because I am not God. 

   Scripture says in Isaiah 40 that God never grows tired or weary. NEVER. I can't hardly keep my eyes open past 9p. And my awesome husband has picked up all my slack today b/c I have been so weepy. It's hard to fathom never being tired or weary. 

     One of my favorite songs right now is by Bethel Church, called One Thing Remains. (look it up on youtube if you haven't heard it) "His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me." I could sing that all day long. I think the 'never runs out on me' is what my mind smiles at so often. Or maybe 'never gives up'. It's a toss-up. Either way, I say to my God, Thank you Jesus. Thank you for being so incredibly big and awake. I so need You!

Her hair is finally thick enough for a pony-tail!

Update on Maggie's pending surgery

     In the last post I was waiting for a call from the neuro doc's office. We received that call this past Friday. Dr. McLanahan's PA told me that they were sure the eye doctor would find swelling and pressure on her optic nerve, because of the amount of fluid she has in her head. HOWEVER, the eye doctor said there was NO pressure and NO swelling on the optic nerve. Maggie's eyes are right where they should be for a 2yo!
     As a result of that diagnosis, Dr. McLanahan said there is no need for shunts right now! Our next step is to meet with him on May 11 to go over any questions we have and then meet with him every 3 months to keep an eye on her!
     So, she may need surgery in the future, but not right now like we were thinking.
     Thank you for the continued prayers!

This was taken at Maggie's first time at the strawberry patch. She was not a fan b/c we wouldn't hold her the whole time. : )

Maggie and big bro Jaydn

Frequently Asked Questions

When we are out I am asked some of the same questions, so I thought I would just blog...

Is Maggie saying any words? Everyday she is saying something new, in English, although she seems to understand everything. So far we have:
* 'Ba Ba Choo Choo' (Bye Bye Choo Choo - she was scared of the train that goes by our house several times a day so we started saying goodbye to it)
* Hello and hi
* Daddy, Mama
* adlie (Natalie), so far no Jaydn
* Thank you
* No, no, no
* ta da, aka: all done. (Kind of sounds like 'take that' but she always says it when she is done with something)

When is her surgery? We don't have a date yet. As of this past Monday, our neuro surgeon has the results from her eye appointment. So, we are waiting for a call from his office telling us whether the next step is a MRI or surgery to place 2 shunts.

How are Natalie and Jaydn adjusting? They are both doing GREAT! They are completely in love with Maggie. The only complaint I hear from Natalie is that Jaydn is lovey to Maggie and never to her. : )


How am I doing? Maybe this is where I should have started this post. From the beginning I have said that I want to be real about the emotions of this journey. When you are going through all the paperwork, there is excitement, I absolutely loved it! When you get home you have to face the reality of raising a two year old. Lots and lots of laughter/joy, mixed with frustration and loss of personal time.
     Am I glad we adopted? ABSOLUTELY! Has it been an adjustment? YES, for my brain. Natalie, 9 and Jaydn, 7 are pretty self-sufficient. I am able to get a lot done with them. Throw Maggie in there and now my world has been altered and I have to learn to be content with getting one thing done a day.
     Do I still feel we were called to bring this little girl into our family? ABSOLUTELY!!!! Just because God calls us to something, does not guarantee an easy ride all around. In fact, scripture says that we WILL have struggles, but we have ONE who is bigger than all the storms.
     This has been hard for me, but I see God all over it in everyday life. I handle the tantrums differently. It's as if God gave us a "round 2".
[Let me back up a minute and tell you that Maggie is very, very much like Natalie at 2. We knew by 18months that Natalie was going to be strong-willed. As is Maggie. Stubborn, knows what she wants, when she wants it. She is also like Natalie in that she sucks her finger (with Natalie it was her thumb) and holds her blanket close to her face. So adorable. And funny! And smart; she catches on to things very quickly.]
     So now in this round we take what we have learned and apply it. That is, with God's help. The sweet spirit of Jesus has been reminding me to take just ONE day at a time. He is also teaching me that CONTENTMENT only comes from Him. I am convinced! I am learning to be content whether I get 4 things or 1 thing done a day. I am learning to be content with little spending money. Having not worked for 5 weeks, spending money is a little thin, but I am good! God provides. He provides me with sanity and contentment, and I am thankful.

 

Tears, giggles & a doctor appointment

     This was Maggie's first Easter egg hunt. The above picture tells it all. She wasn't interested in the eggs at all. She was upset with me because I took her from walking with her hand on the stroller. She even threw a couple of two-year-old fits while there. Too funny! I definitely handle them differently the third time around. : )    

     Her walking has really improved over the last week, to where she is only holding one of my hands and is basically pulling me towards where she wants to be.

     These pics are from bath time (obviously). It took her three weeks, but she now LOVES bath time. Lots of giggles and time trying to catch the water. Pure joy.

     This is one that my good friend caught while Maggie was listening to worship rehearsal for the youth service. That is one of my favorite things she does, with her hands on her face. Before that pic was taken she was clapping and moving to the music. Natalie and Jaydn had their fingers in their ears b/c it was so loud. Not Maggie, she thought it was great!

     This Tuesday is Maggie's appointment with the ENT specialist. He will be checking the pressure in her brain. I was glad to hear that he works with lots of pediatric patients, b/c I'm not sure she is going to be an easy patient. My prayer is that the doctor will be able to find out all the information needed SO THAT we don't have to wait (or PAY) for a MRI. Prayers are appreciated!!

     

     Thank you for following along about our family! We are blessed with our newest addition! In the words of Natalie..."Mom, I think our family is better now, with Maggie in it. It's much funnier!"